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50+ Clever and Funny Facebook Status Updates and Post Ideas

Angel is a social networking guru with tons of useful tips for navigating Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and more!

Check out these awesome, hysterically funny Facebook status updates!

Bank check out these awesome, hysterically funny Facebook status updates!

Cute and Funny Facebook Status Ideas and Quotes: Get Lots of Likes and Haha Reactions on FB

Facebook is the virtually popular social networking site in the world, and anybody wants to impress their friends and family with awesome, hilarious status updates! Here'due south a listing of funny status updates and quotes yous can employ to get tons of likes and haha reactions on Facebook!

Pro tip: You lot tin also apply these as tweets or IG captions!

Funny Facebook Statuses and Mail Ideas Everyone Volition Like

  • I don't care what the question is—the answer is "chocolate."
  • My mom says I'one thousand attractive, so why hasn't anyone else figured that out notwithstanding?
  • Take my advice; I don't utilize it anyhow.
  • Information technology's very hard to concentrate when I'thousand in a room full of cookies!
  • I just broke my own personal record for most days on earth. High 5!
  • My goal in life is to take a Wikipedia page written virtually me. Peradventure simply a newspaper article. Ok, I'd have a periodical entry.
  • My bank account residuum constantly reassures me that I'one thousand safe from identity theft.
  • If we're not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light in the refrigerator?
  • Don't you wish they made a clap-on clap-off device for some people's mouths?
  • I get plenty do pushing my luck.
  • My relationship is like a Tesla. I don't accept a Tesla.
  • Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
  • A make clean house is a sign of a wasted life. At least, that's what I tell myself.
  • I take an inferiority circuitous, merely it's non a very skillful one.
  • ¡puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ ƃuᴉop ǝlᴉɥʍ ʞooqǝɔɐℲ ǝsn oʇ ʍoɥ pǝuɹɐǝl ʎllɐuᴉɟ I
  • ██████████ status is loading . . .
  • ............(0 0)
    .---oOO-- (_)-----.
    ╔═════════════════╗
    ║ Nobody cares ║
    ╚═════════════════╝
    '----------------------oOO
    ........|__|__|
    .......... || ||
    ....... ooO Ooo
Facebook doesn't have enough reaction options . . . can we start a petition to get this one on the roster?

Facebook doesn't have plenty reaction options . . . tin can we showtime a petition to get this one on the roster?

Funny Meta Facebook Posts That Volition Become Likes and Comments

  • "People you may know" should really be "people you definitely know and detest." Someone contact Facebook and allow them know.
  • Why isn't at that place an "center-roll" reaction on Facebook?
  • If I had a dollar for every random with no mutual friends that sent me a friend request, I'd exist rich!
  • The adjacent person to postal service "can I merely go 1 like for . . ." is getting unfriended. No, you cannot become one like.
  • You shouldn't like me. I'm non a Facebook status update.
  • "Hello, is this Aristocracy Model Management? Yes, I recall I'thousand prepare to go pro . . . my selfie just got 17 likes on Facebook!"
  • I wish I could become a notification when someone deletes me so I could "like" it.
  • Dance like nobody's taking a video that'southward going to finish upward on Facebook later.
  • If I go more than two hours without posting a Facebook status update, I've probably been kidnapped. Phone call the police force.
  • I used to have a life, but and so I got a Facebook account.
  • The best posts on Facebook are the people who repent for not having been on in a while, but so nobody cares that they're back.
  • Well-nigh people don't know this, but you can actually be a vegan without posting nearly it on Facebook.
  • A lot of people think my condition updates are about them. Well, if the shoe fits . . .
  • I'm really glad I grew up before Facebook existed.

Funny and Inspirational Quotes for Your Facebook Status

  • "If yous're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you." —Billy Wilder
  • "I ever arrive late at the part, but I make up for it by leaving early." —Charles Lamb
  • "If you alive to exist one hundred, yous've got it made. Very few people dice past that age." —George Burns
  • "I'g in shape. Round is a shape." —George Carlin
  • "Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop." —Gertrude Stein
  • "Haters are merely confused admirers considering they tin't figure out the reason why everyone loves yous." —Jeffree Star
  • "It'south amazing that the amount of news that happens in the globe every day always but exactly fits the newspaper." —Jerry Seinfeld
  • "Never put off till tomorrow what you can exercise the twenty-four hours later tomorrow." —Marker Twain
  • "Always forgive your enemies—nix annoys them so much." —Oscar Wilde
  • "I'm pitiful; if yous were right, I'd agree with you." —Robin Williams
  • "If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again." —Stan Laurel
  • "I have not failed. I've just institute 10,000 ways that won't work." —Thomas Edison
  • "Common sense and a sense of sense of humor are the aforementioned thing, moving at different speeds. A humour is just mutual sense, dancing." —William James
  • "If you're going through hell, go on going." —Winston Churchill

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Holiday-related statuses are timely and a great way to get likes and comments.

Holiday-related statuses are timely and a dandy way to get likes and comments.

Funny Facebook Posts for the Holidays

Holiday-specific posts get anybody excited nigh the upcoming day, whether information technology's New year's day'south 24-hour interval, Christmas, Halloween, or whatsoever other special 24-hour interval on the calendar!

New Year'due south Eve/24-hour interval

  • Happy New year! Hither's to another year of resolutions we'll never keep and wall calendars we'll never wait at!
  • I'm already perfect, so I don't need to make any resolutions! Pitiful, not sorry.
  • I would quit my bad habits next year, just nobody likes a quitter.
  • New year, new me. That's what I said concluding year, the yr before that, and the twelvemonth before that . . . but this yr, I really mean it!
  • Give thanks u, next.

Valentine's Day

  • I saved a ton of money on Valentine's 24-hour interval past staying single. Highly recommended.
  • Information technology's Valentine's Day, and even so then far this twelvemonth, I've simply made a connection with my wi-fi.
  • If you're planning on sending me a Valentine's 24-hour interval card, please make certain information technology's Visa or Mastercard.
  • Now accepting applications to be my Valentine. Leave your app in the comments below.

St. Patrick's Day

  • Irish you were beer.
  • I'm not Irish, but feel free to kiss me anyway.
  • Shamrockin' and rollin' on St. Patty's Twenty-four hour period.

Halloween

  • I know what I'm going to be for Halloween! Drunk.
  • Halloween—the one night my lifestyle of eating candy in the dark while watching horror movies is actually socially acceptable.
  • Every yr, I hear near drugs and razor blades existence plant in kids' Halloween processed. I always wonder why people would give abroad something and then expensive for free!
  • Which Halloween candy pairs best with chardonnay? Asking for a friend.
  • Good friends share their Halloween candy. Neat friends let you accept all the Reese'due south Peanut Butter Cups.

Thanksgiving

  • Thanksgiving is such a magical time—it's supposed to be virtually giving thanks, but it's really about stuffing your face with as much food as possible.
  • Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful . . . that you live thousands of miles away from your family unit.
  • Talk turkey to me. #foodcoma
  • Nobody puts gravy in the corner.
  • Good vibes & apple pies.

Christmas

  • Help! I'm trying to get into the holiday spirits, simply the bottle won't open!
  • December 25th is the ane solar day of the year I'1000 actually a morning person.
  • All I want for Christmas is you . . . and a bunch of presents. Here's my list.
  • The best way to tell someone you lot don't similar them is to ship them a Christmas bill of fare with glitter in it.
  • You lot've already put upwards your Christmas tree? Well, judge what? I'yard already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
  • I experience concerned about gingerbread people living in houses fabricated of their flesh, but I promised non to bring it up and ruin Christmas again this year.
  • Memo to the people who put antlers and a carmine Rudolph nose on your car for Christmas—you tin can't fool me; I know that'south a car!
  • We parents demand to end threatening our kids with a lump of coal—it's cruel and outdated. Behave, or Santa volition break your cell phone, kids!

Shafqat M from UK on Oct 16, 2020:

Though I am not on Facebook, these Facebook condition updates look quite impressive and hilarious!

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Source: https://turbofuture.com/internet/50-Funny-Facebook-Status-Ideas